When Life Gives You LeMons...

Do you ever have a day, a week, a month when you can't even stand to be with yourself? For me it usually involves involuntarily becoming a single parent so that my present but not present husband can spend every waking moment in his garage working on the latest "piece" car that he will be racing in the not too distant future.

How do I feel about that? I think he is lucky because I don't even like being with me.

My poor children. Poor me.

School's Still Out for Summer...

While most of you have longer ago left behind the discussion of semesters, exams, grades, etc (I am talking about your own not your children's). It seems like not so long ago that August 1st meant scouring the weekly ads for promises of 50 cent pencil box, bargain basement pricing on Crayola (because I am a brand name loyalist when it comes to coloring supplies), and finding a way to make my household budget pay for my classroom back-to-school supplies. Last year I dreamt the night before school that forgot to get my classroom set up, make copies, syllabi, and attend the mandatory back-to-school meeting. I am a TEACHER! Hear me ROAR!!!

Now Abby is 4, it has been 4 years since I set foot in my own classroom. I still find myself up to my old habits. Luckily on a smaller scale, Jack needs a pencil box (preferably one that is blue and costs less then 51 cents not including tax- not to be found), red ball point pens (I can't wait to see what those are for- I hate red ink, almost as much as I hate red frosting), pencils-sharpened (DUH!), a 16 pack of crayons (not 24, but 16- do you realize that a 16 pack of crayons is hard to find and when you do find them they cost 4 times more then a 24 pack? conspiracy? I think so!) and scissors (I am going to take a stand- if you can't read the word you shouldn't get to use it). I like the slimmed down version of the 2nd grade back-to-school list.

The fun part starts when you read the teachers wish list (when I was a teacher we could only dream that there would be a parent that was willing to contribute to the education of their children by helping supply the classroom with my needs. I never thought I would see the day.):

• High Polymer Erasers (it took 2 office supply stores to find this superior grade of erasers)
• Rulers (If you were up at 6 am Sunday morning and took 3 other people with you, you too could have bought a class set of rulers at the right price- 1 penny. I was not so lucky.)
• Baby Wipes (I took care of that a long time ago, there were days that I did think he would go to school in diapers but really in the second grade?)
• Reams and boxes of paper ( Seriously! This one I have a hard time with, is the state of the California budget so bad that our schools can't afford to even buy paper for our students. We are a State that puts high stakes on standardized tests and our teachers don't have enough at the beginning of the school year to get the party started. We are in a world of hurt, if that is the case.)

I am happy to say that my back to school shopping is just about done. Last item to find a tennis shoe that fits Jack's impossibly narrow and long foot that Jack and I can agree upon. Wish me luck!

Hello Kitty...

There are certain stores that I would rather go to by myself, the party store being one of them. This past Saturday night with Steve watching the brutality that is called UFC at friends' house, I loaded up the kids and made a trip to the party store.

Jack the true party planner was hoping that his sister would select a more gender neutral theme for her party (ie.- Star Wars or Bakugan) because what boy wants a goodie bag filled with princess or Barbie crap (my word not his). After being informed that myself and I didn't care what he wanted and if he didn't like it he could sit in his room during his sister's party. Abby being the kind and thoughtful sister that she is offered to have a Cars party to make her brother happy. She quickly abandoned that thought when she entered the pink aisle at Party City and selected Hello Kitty as her theme. Jack tried to remind her that all the boys at her party would hate Hello Kitty, which I quickly set him straight telling him that "the only boys at her party are actually are only the cousins, Patrick, Keith, and Blake and I am pretty sure none of them will care being that the oldest is almost 5 and they don't have to come if Hello Kitty bothers them but I think that their moms will make them come anyway. Plus! Does Abby complain about going to your 'boy' parties? "

Do you understand now why I like to go to the Party Store by myself?

WE LOVE...

SWEET CORN!!!

That is for our Iowa Peeps! The trip to the Fresno State Market was not a total bust.

Keith was not crazy about it, but that is ok.

Just the Girls...

Yesterday Jack convinced his dad that he needed to go to the office with him. So it was just mom and Abby at home! The morning was unremarkably ordinary, gym, showers, and off to the office to do the weekly check deposit.

The afternoon however was joyous and painful. Abby had a hair appointment which we were really early for so I decided to take her to a store that she would now appreciate- COACH! Yes, I am dumber then I look. Let's put it this way, Abby walked out of the store with more then I have ever walked out of the Coach store with- a bag and perfume samples! The sales ladies went nuts over her and kindly gave her a shopping bag and 2 perfume samples. She was in heaven!

She held her bag all through her haircut! Enough to bring tears to her mother and Aunt Lindsay's eyes.

After an afternoon of pampering and attention for Abby, we headed off to the Fresno State Market to pick up some sweet corn for dinner. I was happy to find cheese curds, pesto sausage, and fresh tomatoes to round out our farmer's market dinner. On our way out to the car I slipped off the curb and landed on the asphalt and my car. HOW EMBARRASSING! Abby stood there looking at me like I was a crazy person not sure what to do. I quickly shook it off and tried to act like it didn't hurt like... well you know.

So much for a great end to a wonderful Mother-Daughter Day. Abby was thoughtful enough to ask me twice if I was ok. I think she may have been worried about my mental state and driving home.

The "Real" Housewives...

OF FRESNO??? This afternoon I took the kids and their friend to the movies at the mall. I was shocked and dismayed at an advertisement that was posted in the entrance to the movie theater. Could it be true? Could they be filming a "Real Housewives" here in Fresno??? I truly consider myself a fan of the "Real Housewives" series, I can't get enough of the reality drama.

Recently my friend Sara and I joked that we needed our own reality show about the stupid stuff our husbands put us through with racing. I am not kidding- it will be a HIT!

After the movie I went to further investigate the notion that Fresno is worthy of anything but being the butt of Hollywood jokes. Sure enough I found that the Open Casting Call was for women who had "less then perfect lives". Oh brother! Here we go! I can see it now real housewives with mom jeans, minivans, shopping at deserted malls, with fake nails, and too much skin showing. Sounds like a horror story to me!

I came home and found nothing on the radio station's website to indicate that such an event is going to occur. So once again... there can be a collective laugh about how gullible Fresno is, BUT at least we are romantic.

I Heart the USA...

Fourth of July is my favorite holiday. I love the heat, the pool, the fireworks, being with friends, and of course great eats. I was thinking about how lucky we are to live in a country that is not constantly in turmoil, where for the most part we all just get along. Then I went back to party planning mode and got a good laugh at our Fourth of July menu.

Teriyaki Chicken

Guacamole and chips

Hummus and pita chips

Strawberries with Fruit Dip

Insalata Caprese

Chinese Chicken Salad

Pasta Salad

Central Valley Fruit Salad

Hamburgers

Hot dogs

Mexican and American Beer

Ice Cream

S'Mores

In no other place in the world would you find all these flavors mixed together to create a celebration of a nation's independence.