"I'm Telling..."

Where Have You Been???

2012-01-31T11:36:00.000-08:00

Medicare. Holiday Parties. Christmas. New Years Eve. Work. The Gym. MAUI! The Kuhtz Family's busy calendar took the wind out of my bloggy sails (oh- and Pinterest and streaming Netflix are great time consumers if you aren't careful), enough to make me think that I should quit blogging altogether. I just couldn't do it, there is something about keeping a written history of our family that still appeals to me, so I am rededicating myself to my blog. Once a week is what I am going to plan for, just like "Junior League Mondays", Wednesday will now be called "Written on Wednesdays. See you tomorrow!

He is his father's son...

2011-11-22T21:20:00.001-08:00

And his father is HIS father's son...

Jack. This boy is going to give me more gray hair than I care for. What happened to my sweet boy who aimed to please? He turned 9, that is what happened. The one thing that I still have going for myself is that I have a pretty keen Mommy Spidey Sense that knows then the little angel if up to shenanigans (most of the time).

In the past 3 weeks he has driving me crazy with Halloween candy stashed in his backpack, contraband snacks from the pantry, throwing away his retainers at Panera, losing his wallet at the school carnival, and the latest was leaving his retainers in his desk at school right before Thanksgiving break. Bottomline is that the kid is LUCKY!!! Not very smart, but very LUCKY.

Examples-

Remember the movie Parenthood when the kid leaves his retainer at the pizza joint and the mom and dad go searching through garbage for the $400 retainer? Every parents' worst nightmare. Jack is so lucky he threw his retainers away, him mom called the restaurant to have them pull the garbage bag, and upon our return the store manager had already found both retainers and had them soaking in a disinfectant... unbelievable- he didn't even understand what that man had done for him.
After being told at least 20 times not to take his wallet FULL of money to school, Jack loses his wallet at the school carnival. Not only does some kid return it to a teacher, the kid returns it to JACK'S TEACHER, who recognizes the wallet as Jack's because he takes it to school all the time. No money missing.
On Saturday, Grandma asked him about his retainers. On Sunday, his mom asked him about his retainers. On Monday, his mom finally told his dad that she doesn't think the retainers are at home. Sure enough they weren't, Jack insisted that they were in his desk at school. This morning, as if the school district was paying the custodian to wait for Jack to come back to school to get his missing retainers, she opened the building, and his classroom so that Jack could retrieve his retainers that were safely stored in his desk.
The icing on the cake... upon picking up my children from Campus Club at 5:45 PM today, Jack informed me that his glasses were broken. The LAST thing I want to do the Tuesday before Thanksgiving is go to WALMART. You ask why WALMART, because that is where Jack's cheap father insisted on going to get Jack's glasses, they are insured by WALMART, we have used the insurance on these glasses to its fullest... I must go to WALMART. FYI- Lucky Jack. We were in and out of WALMART today in 10 minutes. UNBELIEVABLE.

Jack, his father, and his Papa they all are this lucky, it is freaky. While a normal person's parent should freak out, require that they buy a new retainer, or miss out on wearing them for 9 days, the 3 of them would never have the same consequences as the general public. All I can say is he is the apple does not fall far from the tree.

Remind me to tell you about the 20 checks endorsed and ready to deposit that Steve left on top of his car when we first got married. LUCKY!

Very Pinteresting...

2011-11-19T16:54:00.001-08:00

The latest craze in the world of social media is a little website called Pinterest. It is a "virtual inspiration / bulletinboard" covering everything from weddings to food, travel, parenting, inspirations, fashion, health, beauty.... the list is endless. I have introduced several of my closest friends to the phenonomenon that is sweeping the nation. You ~~stalk~~ follow your friends' boards to see what they like or may be thinking is cute or funny.

With about 6 close friends and several "friends of friends" and "friends I would like to know better" who are active on Pinterest, it was about time that we put our pinning into action. I literally threw the party together in 2 weeks.

I started with a simple Paperless Post invite with the party information and the ~~rules~~ "guidelines" for the party.
1. Make 5 of one craft to share
2. Bring a food item and 15 printed recipes to share.
3. Bring your favorite quote.

*** I loosely made it a holiday theme... but of course there are so many themes- health and wellness, kid crafts, gift giving, happy hour... Valentine's Day, beauty, So Simple, organization...

I also let everyone invite their friends, I was afraid of no one being able to come and I wanted everyone to have someone there that they know. It was great to meet new people and get to know others better.

Here are the results- So amazing!

The gift table- I was so afraid that there would be
duplicates of the same item.
Not so!

Nicole and Chee-
Santa wine glasses

Lindsay-
Argyle wreaths

Val made dry erase boards,
all were different and so cute in their own way!

Thumbtack Christmas trees!

Of course, I had to do some Christmas decorating too!

We had a wonderful time. I totally forgot to take pictures of the food and the mimosa and coffee bar. Everything except for my Crockpot egg casserole tasted great. This is my new favorite Christmas tradition.

Momentum...

2011-10-19T20:25:00.000-07:00

Mojo. Focus. That is where I am.For the first time in 2 weeks I am done working by 7 pm! 10-12 hour days are energizing and exhausting all at the same time. Medicare season officially opened last Saturday, apps are coming in, agents are selling, I am SELLING, but mostly I am making about 70-100 phone calls everyday setting appointments for agents.

Funny thing about college...
I spent 4 years working relatively hard to become a teacher, but the best training for what I do know was while telemarketing for Mitt Romney during his campaign for Congress in 1994. Yes, I was a "liberal" college student in Iowa from California, making campaign phone calls for a Massachusetts Republican Congressman. Strange, Medicare sales calls is where I find myself now. I guess it was my calling.

Sell. Sell. Sell.

The Time Has Come...

2011-09-29T16:08:00.000-07:00

Unless you want to hear all about Medicare (or better yet buy a plan), the time has come for Rachel. Steve. And the rest of the Kuhtz Diehl staff to go off the social grid. 2011 plan booklets went in the garbage today, boxes are arriving daily. 45 days of selling this is what I have worked toward for the last 9 months. Can you handle it?

Things that I most likely will participate in-
1. Going to the gym. I have to! No Medicare 15 for me this year!!!
2. Tailgates and football games. I can't work ALL the time!
3. Cheer competitions. Plays. School functions. Christmas programs. The swim practice drop off lane.
4. Rushed trips to the grocery store and Target. Don't hate me if I ignore you.
5. And obviously WORK!

I apologize ahead of time if-
1. I forget to send your a thank you.
2. I I flake on RSVPing like I usually do.
3. My Christmas card is late and there are typos on my letter.
4. My blog ends up on the bottom of your blogroll.
5. You see me and I look tired, overworked, and I act cranky.
6. I complain about work AND my diet.
7. Instead of attending your birthday party, I (we) decide to stay home and take a nap. It isn't you, it is us.

It may seem foreign to most, but we really are THAT busy! See you December 8th!

Nature...

2011-09-05T13:23:00.000-07:00

Friday night Steve took the kids to Red Rock State Park for a little overnight adventure sans Mom. They had a great time in the great outdoors- eating all the junk food they could stomach and staying up really late (a treat that they miss now that school has started again).

Steve discovered something new about both kids-

Jack- "Nature scared me."
Abby- "I love nature."

I LOVE Cartwheels!!!

2011-09-05T13:15:00.000-07:00

Cartwheel mastered!

Chores...

2011-08-30T19:22:00.000-07:00

While vacationing this summer with friends, the mom-friend mentioned that her daughter had recently started earning an allowance. She also mentioned that she saw on Oprah (or an Oprahesqe show) that the appropriate amount of allowance was the exact grade that your child is in, for me this was in one ear and out the other- chores mean a task that I can't just do on my own and I would have to go through the painful process of training, reminding and supervising the chores... I rather do it myself.

Upon returning my loving and caring husband took it upon himself to sit Jack (the child who can barely brush his own teeth) down and to tell him that he would from now on be responsible for doing certain things around the house. The first job would be to load and unload the dishwasher.
*** FYI- my kitchen was built for me (all 5'11'' of me) while I don't have to stand on step stool or even my tippee toes most would consider my kitchen giant sized and impossible.
So the task was given, a job that usually takes me about 10-15 minutes to complete now takes about 30. My good knives have the oxidized dishwasher look. I am never sure if my fork is clean or dirty because he load and unloads at the same time. The icing on the cake is $10 weekly allowance... no my son is not in the tenth grade.

For about a week now Abby (the messmaker) has been requesting that she also be give some chores ( I know it is because she is hoping for the $10 payday like her brother's). She has requested dusting and vacuuming, the problem is we never have made it to the point where she can do those things because she ALWAYS has a mess in at least 2 rooms of the house. Here is the evidence-

Room #1- The Kitchen-
How many times does a mom have to trip over backpack?

Room #2- The Game Room-
This was created in the 25 minutes I was working out this afternoon.

Room #3- The Princesses domain-
A poor illustration of the mess that is usually Abby's room.

Lord help me. I JUST cleaned the house yesterday! I can't wait to see the allowance that this child negotiates. Am I the only parent whose kids gets ridiculous amounts of money for stressing out their mother?

I Miss Vacation...

2011-08-24T14:42:00.000-07:00

Friends.

Wine.

Being silly.

Favorite places.

Waking to this every morning.

I wish summer would last forever!

First Day of School...

2011-08-23T16:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the first day of school. The first day of school has reminded me of "Finding Nemo" since the first time I saw the movie. Nemo jumping up and down on Marlin excited about his first day in Mr. Ray's class. While Marlin would be happy if school didn't start for another year.

Even more so yesterday...

One has Nemo's enthusiasm and other the understated

fear of what the fourth grade {or the ocean} may bring, just like Marlin.

Thank you to Jamielyn at I {heart} Nap Time for the

adorable Back to School printables

Sleep In...

2011-08-04T07:49:00.000-07:00

Two words that basically will guarantee that your children will be up before the crack of dawn. Why don't I remember this on school days?

June 2009-
This sleeping in each others beds behavior has resumed.
Fight all day and then can't be without the other at bed time.

My Worst Fears...

2011-07-25T20:50:00.000-07:00

1. Drowning. I consider myself a highly trained professional swimmer. While I am not on the level of Michael Phelps or Janet Evans, it is highly unlikely that I will be in a situation that would cause me to die from drowning. Even so I am deathly afraid of drowning.

2. Having my butt featured on a nightly news feature about obesity in America. You know the video footage I am talking about people walking down the street with a street vendor hot dog in one hand and a King sized Snickers bar in the other, which usually is only shot from mid shoulder to upper butt range or if the camera guy is especially vicious it include a partial profile with neck rolls. Lately I have not watched the news, please don't tell me if you see me.

3. Cheerleaders. hey! Some people are afraid of clowns or snakes. Me just "harmless" cheerleaders and mice.

Addendum to 3- A Cheerleader in my house... I fought tooth and nail to prevent this from happening and against my better judgement it has happened. Last week Abby started cheerleading two nights a week. She loves it!

Addendum to the Addendum 3- Cheer Moms- is there anyone woman who is more annoying then the woman who was once a cheerleader and who is now a cheer mom? Oh yes! The woman who was never a cheerleader who is now living all her childhood hopes and dreams through her child.

4. My child being a brat. I would like to say that my kids while I like to complain about their behavior are fairly well behaved nice people. Sometimes you get a glimpse of what your kid has the potential to be and it is not pretty. Case in point-

Today in the car (while waiting for cheer to start, in an attempt to avoid the crowd of cheer moms), Abby pointed out the car window at a little girl going into the building and said "Mom, that girl is not in my cheer group." "Oh really, how do you know that Abby?" I said unsure of why this was even coming up. "Because Mom! We don't have any fat girls in our group." Stunned, mortified, embarrassed- the list could go on and on. "Well Abby, I don't think that that is a very nice thing to say and that would really hurt that girls feelings if she heard you say such a mean thing." Without missing a beat Abby retorted "Well Mom sometimes people look different and that is OK, we should talk about it." Hmmm!

Emotions are still mixed over this one. I hope that my kids would accept everyone for who they are and not what they are, I guess I am in need of a little lesson myself. I will have to open my mind to mice, start working out more, and cheerleaders (and yes, cheer moms) but you can forget it when it comes to drowning- on that I am not budging!

Best Birthday Ever...

2011-07-19T18:43:00.000-07:00

Years ago a friend of mine celebrated her 3rd Anniversary of being her daughter's mother (also known as her kid's 3rd birthday party) she is funny like that. My 6th Anniversary of being Abby's mom was a lot of fun to plan, and luckily the birthday girl has already requested a repeat performance next year (as did her boy cousins, who will always appreciate a party that does not include a Disney Princess or a neighbor dressed as Hello Kitty).

The Best Birthday ever started with a Luau / Hawaiian Theme. Lots of cool theme items from the Dollar Store, a luau-esque menu (that was super yummy and was not photographed) and an amazing 20 foot water slide in the backyard that was also known as Paradise.

Crazy Uncles doing tricks!

Cousins who can now swim in the DEEP END!

Hawaiian Punch, of course!
Totally nostalgic and gross- all at the same time.

Lots of aerial tricks in the pool.

The BEST dress up shoes EVER!

A Birthday Girl

The Best Birthday EVER!

Happy 6th Anniversary of being Abby's Mom to Me!
So worth celebrating!

Going Pro...

2011-07-07T20:43:00.000-07:00

This summer we are going pro... professional traveller that is. Last week we spend an eventful 26 hours flying across the county and sleeping in an airport. This week with after only 5 days home we are heading "off the grid", 45 minutes up the mountain to Shaver Lake where T-Mobile has failed to tap into a cell tower close enough to even give us 1 bar of service coverage. This is all practice for a yet to be planned vacation to parts unknown, the kids are quite the troopers. Here is the evidence ...

On the floor in the Denver airport...

passed out just like they were home in bed...

Going Pro!

Note from my Sponsor- Part 2...

2011-07-07T11:16:00.000-07:00

Have you checked out 2 Sweet Tees yet? Have you checked out GroopDealz? Today my friend is pedalling her wares on GroopDealz- super cute boy and girl birthday tees.

You know you need one... or two!

The Best Day According to a 9 year old Boy...

2011-07-05T11:55:00.000-07:00

According to Jack yesterday was the best day, maybe even the greatest day of his life...

Vacation Bible School
A Doctor Appointment
Hanging out with Grandpa without his sister and cousins in tow.
Cub Scout Camp in a million degree heat... but he got to shoot a bow and arrow, play with his buddies for hours without the watchful eyes of Mom and Dad, and eat dinner at the Rodeo Fairgrounds.

The best part about the BEST day... Getting his braces off!

First Day of Summer...

2011-06-21T16:32:00.000-07:00

More things that I love about summer...

Sonic Ice Tea at Happy Hour. Only a $1.25 for 44 oz!
Long days...
Sleeping with the ceiling fan on. While most home improvement shows love to bash on the contraptions... you CANNOT live in Fresno without one in every room.
Sweet corn.
Ice cream.
Big Brother (the show)- YAY!
Sitting in the sun at swim practice every afternoon for 2 hours- much needed tanning time.
Cold beer and warm fruit. Our fruit trees are stocked full this summer, only a few more days of heat and the fruit will be perfect!
Nightly swims with the family and going to bed slightly wet- the best!

Happy First Day of Summer 2011! The longest day!

All- American Weekend...

2011-06-13T16:21:00.001-07:00

There is no better way to start Summer but with an All-American Weekend. Jack and Steve spend Thursday and Friday night at Boy Scout Camp at Shaver Lake. Jack's first real sleep over camp experience! He even had good things to say about the food (Steve did not)!

On Saturday morning they rushed home to collect the RV, Jack's "redesigned" soapbox derby car, Abby, and myself to head to Tuolumne for the Northern California Soapbox Derby Championship. We traveled to Tuoloumne last year for the same race. Tuolumne is a great little town with an awesome grocery store (which allows us to park there for the weekend), a Logger's Jamboree (the perfect small town festival complete with carnies, sno-cones, loggers, and almost as many exposed tattoos as a NASCAR race) and of course, the soapbox race. Jack did really well and finished 6th place AND received "Best in Show" for his new red car with yellow flames- named "Jack in Black".

What a FUN weekend!

Let SUMMER begin!

Kindergarten Was Great!!!

2011-06-10T18:27:00.001-07:00

This week has been a whirlwind of emotions, the last two days I have not been able to even talk about Jack or his teacher without tearing up EVERY. STINKING. TIME. Clearly the Kindergarten "Celebration" (in Clovis you don't get to graduate until you are in high school, it is the rule) was going to cause me to well up and choke on my emotions AGAIN. I spent the year going to Kindergarten every Monday morning, tagging along on field trips and class activities. While the ceremonies were fun and demonstrated the progress that 110 five and six year olds had made in the last 9 months... no tears. Progress in Kindergarten is to be expected, if there is no improvement there is something wrong. Progress in the 3rd grade is monumental, especially when the "experts" say that it can't be done. My baby is growing up... not that one...

The one who went from "Below" and "Far Below Basic" at the beginning of the year to "Proficient" and "Advanced".
The one who is no longer a "lower grader" and who is now an upper grader at Webelo sleep away camp.
The one who will learn about California missions, chemistry, and geometry next year.
The one who said good-bye and good luck to the only kid that he has gone to school with every year since he was 3 years old yesterday.
The one who is growing up faster than a blink of an eye, Wasn't it just yesterday that he turned one or would sit and watch "The Lion King" over and over again?

I will never forget the last days of school as a kid- report cards, yearbooks, parties, and the endless potential that only summer can bring to a kid- an ending and a beginning all at the same time. While kids see summer for its potential, as a parent you see it as the transition to the next stage of life changes that we can't protect children from. I can't believe I have a 4th grader... Needless to say, Kindergarten was GREAT!!!

Progress...

2011-06-07T07:35:00.001-07:00

Last week, Jack almost made me drive off the road, not because he was fighting with his sister but because of what he said. He told me "Mom, when I was in the second grade I felt like a failure." As I safely steered the car back on the road and regain my composer, I asked why. "Mom, I was in trouble everyday and I was not very smart." Good thing I have been in training for the last 20 years for this kind of distracted driving, in fact, my friend warned me about the "backseat confessional almost" accidents that her children subjected her to. "Jack, no one thinks that you are a bad kid or not smart, believe me they don't, I don't." As the words came out of my mouth, I began to wonder if he believed me or if this a case of "your Mom thinks that you are beautiful." Jack is the kid who has never won anything (not really- but I am just saying), he has never been recognized for his achievements at school, he is not the kid who has ever read to the Principal, been a Character that Counts, or until this year, high enough on the roll to get honored or even a letter in the mail. We think he is the best, but does anyone else?

***FLASH FORWARD TO YESTERDAY***

Jack was to receive the reading medallion, and award for kids who read and earn a certain amount of points according to their grade level. Steve and I joke that it is really our award, because half way through the year Jack lost interest in taking the required tests, but we continued to "encourage" him to work at it. Halfway through the assembly, the Principal described the Student of the Quarter award. Each class has two, a student who has character, who works hard, and who is a friend to all (totally my kid everyone thinks). As kids' names were called all of the kids coming forward were kids who had already gotten High Honor Roll or Principal's Honor Roll (predictable), until Mrs. Nixon's class... Jack K. Lump in my throat, tear in my eye my kid was being recognized! Someone besides me thinks that he is great! We are so proud.

I guess I need to take the "My underachiever can swim faster than your overachiever" bumper sticker off the back of my car- I kid! It is hard to imagine what this year would have been like if it hadn't been for Jack's amazing teacher. She is patient, kind, intelligent, funny, and just the person to make Jack feel smart and important. Thank you, Mrs. Nixon for everything! This morning a different kid woke up at our house. A kid excited to go to school and do things (it may have something to do with today being "Video Game "Day, but a different kid none the less).

Mama's sick...

2011-06-01T21:22:00.000-07:00

A Type A Mom's worst nightmare. But while Mama's sick the kiddos and hubby shall play... Sunday was spent completely indoors (a sin considering that it was Memorial Day weekend, but understandable due to the fact that it was about 30 degrees outside, which should be another sin). More cartoons, than I care to know about were viewed. The only person who go out of their pajamas was Daddy-O, because he couldn't handle the thought of living in his pjs all day. No one ate a single fruit or vegetable, in fact Mama has NO CLUE what was consumed during that day. I am not so proud to admit that I let my 5 year old watch New Moon with me (PG-13- YIKES) and that we both kind of liked it. Daddy (the germ phobe) disappeared for a couple hours as have 'time to himself"- aka- not catch whatever I had. Dishes didn't get put away. Garbage was barely picked up. At bedtime, Abby told me that it had been "the best day" because she got to do whatever she wanted and stay in her pjs all day. I think it was my worst.

Happy Anniversary...

2011-05-31T19:49:00.000-07:00

11 years! That is like the new 25, right?

Steve is a hard one to shop for. He is the guy that buys himself whatever he needs, unless it is sock and underwear, which do not seem like very thoughtful, sexy or loving gift ideas for a wife to give her husband as an anniversary gift. Socks and underwear are birthday gifts- DuH!

With my renewed blog-stalking addiction, I found a cute idea for a simple and kind of cheap anniversary gift from A Toddler and A Teenager blog. I have found my new favorite thing! We both used Leo Reynold's flicker website to cut and paste the letters and numbers that I needed and applied them to a PowerPoint slide. When you are done instead of saving it as a PowerPoint you save as a jpeg. Now you are ready to upload to wherever you print your photos (I sent mine to Costco), I printed a 5x7, 8x10, and 11x14 (I wasn't sure what size would look the best). Ultimately, I used the 11x14 which actually measure 9x12.

I think it came out pretty great! I think Steve was impressed with my talent.

Derby Days...

2011-05-22T17:26:00.000-07:00

Something that we look forward to all you is the Fresno Firefighters Box Cart Race.

Who wouldn't?

When your morning starts with DONUTS...

Some as BIG as you face!

Making kids cry...

Making kids try new things...

Seeing old friends...

Making kids smile...

Box cart races... simply the best!

Be patient as I attempt to learn my new favorite thing... Picnik- photo editing.

Reasons...

2011-05-20T21:14:00.000-07:00

We live in a place that is freezing in the winter and hot, hOT, HOT in the summer. I love where we live even if it is hot, it isn't a big city (there is no Nordstroms- not that I know how to spell it, nor to I wish to shop there) and it isn't such a little town... (fortunately I am not 2nd cousins with everyone in my neighborhood). While most people who live in the northern portion of the US would never dream of travelling here, I love it! Mostly because of the Hot Hot Hot.

I {heart} summer!

The reasons I love summer-

1. a new reason- Kindle. My Mother's Day gift. I can read any book that I download within seconds without a trip to Costco or Target.

2. Pools. I lived in Fresno for most of my life without a pool- CRAZY! 3 years ago we finished our pool build project. I love the sound of the water falling on the rocks.

3. My life is complete when I am tan... my dermatologist is going to hate me next week for my tan lines but my whole persona changes when I have a tan. Oh well!

4. I like to get my hands dirty... from March 15 to August 1, I spend my evenings planting flowers, pulling weeds, and waging combat on backyard pests, specifically SNAILs! AGH!

5. Cigar smoke. On a good night Steve smokes one cigar in the backyard, my oncologist will curse me for this one day but for now it is one of the smells of summer.

6. Tequila! YUM!

7. Parties! Suddenly everyone is ready to come out for a party in the summer. We love to entertain, it is my hobby.

8. XX. Dos Equis. our favorite beer to drink while sitting around the bar on a summer evening.

9. Happy Hour... at Sonic. Half priced drinks with the best ice in the World!

10. 12 ft of blow up entertainment! I am looking forward to my newest piece of summer fun... an outdoor movie screen. My kids will never know about drive in movies... they don't exist anymore! What they will know along with text messages, cell phones, and instant books, movies, and music, is movies projected on their very own movie screen in their backyard.

By the way, the kids have been informed that their mom and dad will be "snow" birds after they leave the nest.

Gifts...

2011-05-09T11:17:00.000-07:00

The best Mother's Day gift was the proclamation from Abby as she threw her training wheels in the dumpster-

I don't need these

STUPID. PLASTIC. THINGS. ANY.

MORE.

The second best gift was a whole day to sit around drinking ice tea made from my new ice tea maker, while reading my new Kindle. Yes, I know I am lucky!

Farewell Friend...

2011-04-30T22:06:00.001-07:00

In December 1998 he came to live with us. He slept in my bed, we shared a pillow. He learned quickly that he could lick anyone expect me (crazy puppy saliva allergy). When Steve's dog, Cody died his heart was broken, and returned to our bed- imagine huge pregnant lady, a 6'2" man, and an 70 pound "baby". He was our first baby, when we brought Jack home from the hospital he assumed the role of proud big brother and protector. His favorite things to do- catch the ball, swim in the lake, eat peaches and nectarines off the trees in the orchard and ride in the car with Steve. Most recently he had become quite fond of cat food and Starbucks cups. When we moved to our house 6 years ago, he hid in the garage for months after getting shocked the first time from the invisible fence. He was able to complete much of his bucket list- camping at the beach, seeing the Grand Canyon, camping at the lake, sleeping inside after a 5 year banishment, having his "own" luxury swimming pool. We are all better people for having known him.

We will love and miss you forever, Maxwell Bernounski, our Polish Dog.

Just the Girls...

2011-04-14T22:22:00.000-07:00

Naughty Leprechauns...

2011-04-14T22:17:00.000-07:00

On St. Patrick's Day the Leprechauns were up to their naughty and nice tricks... At breakfast they magically colored the yogurt and milk GREEN!

In the afternoon, they tricked me in the McDonalds Drive through and threw in 2 Shamrock Shakes.

What a treat!

Idol Fan...

2011-04-14T22:07:00.000-07:00

My pictures don't even do it justice. You should see her pictures. Jennifer got right in there to get her picture taken with everyone backstage.

Jennifer and I has a fantastic time at American Idol!

Thanks Jennifer! Thanks Roman!

The best girls day!

Let me brag a little...

2011-03-29T16:15:00.000-07:00

I am going to American Idol with my friend, Jennifer!!!

This Thursday night she and I will be at the elimination taping of American Idol!!! I am so excited!!!

This week's guests- Jamie Foxx, Will I. Am, Bruno Mars, and former Idol winner (?), Fantasia!!!

This week's theme- Elton John songs... YAY!!!

I can't wait!!!

Pictures will soon follow!!!

I'm a Tooth Loser...

2011-03-08T19:19:00.000-08:00

In January, Abby lost her first tooth while in Disney World and then promptly lost her second tooth while on the airplane home from Disney World, somewhere over Nevada, I think. Tonight while eating dinner she discovered that her third tooth is loose! Just before bed I asked her if she was excited about loosing another tooth... her response...

Yes! I am a TOOTH LOSER!

If she only knew what she had said. I guess I would be happy about being a loser if it meant that I would be $5 close to this...

The Bad News...

2011-03-01T17:14:00.000-08:00

My butt is still big. I went shopping today for a dress for 2 upcoming events that require the purchase of at least one new dress (... and shoes... and jewelry... and a hat...). I hit my least favorite store first in hope of scoring a cute, cheap dress, all I found there was bad news. Some how the girl who used to be a size 12 in everyday boring, nobody is looking at me so I rather be comfortable clothes but could always slip into a 8 or 10 dress, was not with me today. GRrrrrR! Needless to say I found a dress but principle tells me that I will not pay $49.99 for a size 12 anything. At some point I am going to have to get over this because my disposable "cheap" clothes are becoming threadbare and stained. I am holding out hope for "shredded" body in 30 days, with the help of Jillian Michaels and a steady diet of carrots.

Under the Bridge Downtown...

2011-02-14T18:04:00.000-08:00

Can you remember the place, time, or situation where you and your significant other were the happiest (ie .... most in LOOOOOOVVVVEEEE)? I can. I will sleep under it every night.

And no, I have not become a homeless person. And I have not moved to New York City. I bought the photo for Steve for Valentine's. So romantic.

I think we just need a little daily reminder of the places that make us happy.

Truth Be Told...

2011-02-03T19:56:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was surprised at the note that was sent home with my kids... The note was announcing that due to popular demand our school is considering requiring school uniforms next school year. More surprising than that was what I expected to be my reaction was not my reaction at all. My entire life I have thought that a school uniform would make things a lot easier and the "playing field" level for students. I suddenly found myself dreading the thought. After long hours of thinking about why I am suddenly on the opposite side of the fence on an issue I thought I was pretty set in my convictions about, I realized what is holding ME back from thinking this is the greatest thing that has ever happened to public school (besides me deciding to NEVER teach again)... The ONLY THING that I hate more than putting clothes away is...

IRONING!

HATE-IT-WITH-A-PASSION!!! School uniform screams "IRON ME!" Crazy right? I need to just get over it! "Move on Rachel! Snap out of it Crazy Lady!" says the school uniform. I am working on it, but it may take me awhile.

They are pretty cute... :)

I Was Blindsided...

2011-02-03T17:20:00.000-08:00

My little boy is growing as evidenced by 2 things today. The first, I knew was coming, the second hit me while I wasn't looking.

#1- For weeks Jack has been talking about calling his friend, Blake from school. I was really convinced that his much anticipated call was ever going to occur because seriously- what do two 8 year old boys have to say to each other?

While preparing dinner tonight, the house phone rang. Guess who? Blake. Guess what he wanted? To know what the spelling words were for this week. Fair enough, good use of your buddy's phone number, props to you Blake.

#2- The walk home conversation today-

Jack- "Does having a cell phone mean that you are divorced?"

Mom- "What do you mean? Do kids at your school have cell phones?"

Jack- "Yes. Do you get a cell phone if your parents are divorced?"

Mom- "I don't know, I haven't really thought about it."

Jack- "I think that all the kids who have cell phones have parents who are divorced."

Mom- "Hmmmm... Interesting observation. Do kids use their cell phones at school?"

Jack- "Yes"

Mom- "What do they use their cell phones for?"

Jack- "Emergencies and stuff like that."

Mom- "I guess that is a good reason. But I don't think that has anything to do with their parents being divorced."

Jack- "You are probably right. Can I get a cell phone?"

Mom- "Probably not. Your dad and I are married..." We will have to wait and see how he digests that one... to be continued... I am sure...

The Most Magical Place on Earth...

2011-01-31T15:58:00.001-08:00

Freezing! A first tooth... lost down the drain! Daddy to the rescue!

Super Dad building sandcastles!

THE KITCHEN SINK!

A WHOLE can of WHIPPED CREAM! Notice the triple chin action on Mom!

SHARKS!

New friends!

TV Dinner.

A New Favorite Ride.

Old Favorites.

First Class all the way! Thanks Dad!

After 9 fun, sometimes whiny, other times wet, and a lot of the time cold days is in Orlando we are back. We had a fabulous time after the kids adjusted to the 3 hour time change, we bought a stroller, and allowed them to eat the "Kitchen Sink" and room service. It was nice to travel just the 4 of us, and in some ways was more relaxing than any Disney trip we have been on before- hard to imagine Disney relaxing!

Vacationing...

2011-01-18T19:17:00.000-08:00

Daddy surprised all of us with a trip to the "Most Magical Place on Earth", vacation starts this week. I the meantime I am working like a crazy person to clean the house before we go, staying on top of one child to get his homework done before we leave (I love his teacher), and preparing for a Junior League committee meeting.

Am I the only person on the planet that finds it necessary to leave her house clean from top to bottom, including clean sheets on all the beds and no laundry in the hampers? Or am I making myself crazier than necessary?

Not to mention obsessing about the weather once we get there...

I'm baaaaaackkkk!!!

2011-01-08T09:20:00.000-08:00

October 2010

I have been a woman on a mission all week to get myself caught up the "busy season" at work, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas has left my life and house in shambles. While cleaning my house this week I realized that I don't remember the last time that I cleaned my tile floors. I did remember the last time that I thought about doing it and I am embarrassed to say that was a week before Thanksgiving, right before my sister's baby shower at my house (I also remember thinking that I rather do it after the party not before because it was raining). Does this week count as "after the party"? I think so! My neglected floors are thanking me, my shower no longer has that nasty black mold growing in it that I can only see when I have my contacts in, my refrigerator looks brand new.At work, my office is cleaned, files are updated, emails have been returned, calls have been made. This weekend I have some closets to clean and organize, Christmas boxes to put in the attic, and then one to Junior League projects. That may take all weekend. The good news is by Tuesday I am going to be me again! Now if I could just clear my schedule for a couple days of scrapbooking and watching Gone with the Wind and Ugly Betty Season 2 my life will be complete!

A Mean Mom at Christmas Followup...

2010-12-13T15:54:00.000-08:00

I am not sure why I didn't think of this sooner...

The December 13th Behavior Report:

Jack- B+ - A bit of a temper tantrum because I decided that I did not feel well enough to go to a Christmas party yesterday. Overall Behavior is stellar! Abby- A - Christmas is this kid's thing, she won't miss out on receiving a present. That would be a fate worst than death!

I think I am going to have a call Santa and tell him that Jack and Abby have been extra good.

A Mean Mom at Christmas...

2010-12-07T18:54:00.000-08:00

Naughty behavior is not tolerated at our house and for some reason every year between Thanksgiving and Christmas, my children choose to challenge my tolerance for said behavior to the extreme. This past weekend I decided that I would nip it in the butt because this mom could not take it anymore! I told both kids separately that if bad behavior continued I would go into the garage take one of their Christmas gifts out of hiding and then force them open it and then return it to the store. While it seemed like an empty threat and "I am going to call Santa" threat is no longer effective this seemed to have a great impact with both children. For a few minutes of peace and quiet I made them go sit and think about what I had told them and then come back and explain to me what I had told them and what they would do to keep from losing the elusive gifts, this was the key to my success.

Jack chose to test me within 10 minutes of the edict. When I entered the kitchen with the medium sized square box wrapped in red paper silent tears began to stream down his cheeks, and then a whimper of "I'm so sorry I lied to you Mom". I didn't have the heart to enforce my rule, how could you punish those blue eyes? I felt too guilty... I think I got the desired affect, I have lived with 2 little angels since Saturday.

I even shared my "mean mom at Christmas" punishment with my friend, whose children quickly snapped into order after the laying down of the law... guess what... it works... I am just saying... if you want to try it, I am warning you it will be hard on both of you, but you will obtain the desired behavior immediately! Good luck! And Merry Christmas!

Scared Heart...

2010-11-22T18:20:00.000-08:00

Diet is a bad word at my house during the holidays, but after a traumatic holiday photo session it was apparent that Mom and Dad Kuhtz needed to do something... and 6 weeks of gluttony (2008 and 2009) was not it. Enters the Sacred Heart Diet... 7 days of soup, things that I will eat, and the guarantee of rapid weight loss. I don't know why I hadn't heard of this before because this is a diet that I can do and not feel deprived, seriously anytime I felt like eating I eat carrots or a bowl of warm soup (my favorite winter treat sans the slice of warm bread). Here is how it works: Make the soup, one pot will last 2 people at least 3 days of meals (lunch, dinner, and occasional snacks). Recipe: 1 large can or box of beef broth 2 cans of tomatoes- I like the organic 2 cans green beans- drained 1 large bunch of green onions, chopped 1 bunch of celery, chopped 2 lbs. carrots, chopped 2 green peppers, chopped- I used red, yellow, orange too! 1 box Lipton chicken noodle soup- the directions say 1 package but that didn't taste right to me Chopping is quick if you don't worry about how pretty they look, I like my chucks big. Salt and pepper. I added cilantro, jalapeno, and hot sauce. Start to finish the whole process takes me about 15 to 20 minutes, that includes the 10 minutes it is supposed to boil. The Week: Day 1- As much soup as you want and fruit Day 2- As much soup as you want and veggies, baked potato with butter once during the day, I added green onion to mine. Day 3- As much soup as you want veggies and fruit. Day 4- As much soup as you want, veggies and fruit. Bananas and skim milk. Day 5- Beef and tomatoes- this is weird. We just ate soup like day 3. Day 6- We cheated... it was Saturday. But is was supposed to be 10 to 20 ounces of beef- gag! One steak please! Veggies. This is a great day to eat out for dinner, how easy is it to find a steak and veggies and ask for no starch! Day 7- Brown rice and veggies. Eat soup at least once... we cheated... how can you resist pizza and Crumbs cupcakes? The Rules: NO SODA! You can drink sugar free juice, coffee, tea, and LOTS of water. Corn is a no-no. White beans no can do. The Result: Steve lost 12 pounds. Rachel lost 8 pounds by Saturday. My pants fit better, I feel better. After cheating for 2 days I do not feel bloated or gross like I usually do. No sodas or bread (pizza and cupcakes don't count) in a week and I feel great! I think this is a great diet to get you started on your real diet. Very doable especially this time of year when what we mostly eat it soup. We are planning to continue this week until Thursday and then figure out what our next step will be next Monday. The Holidays (candy, bread, parties, alcohol, etc.) kind of make it are to stick to the diet bandwagon. Wish us luck!

Blessed...

2010-11-21T10:18:00.000-08:00

Abby asked me yesterday what I was thankful for, I simply told her I was thankful for her. But after some more thought I realized that I was thankful for many things.

We are blessed with...

a beautiful house.
a healthy family.
jobs that keep us busy.
laughter.
two wonderful children.
a sense of adventure, that every day is a new challenge and obstacle.
friends and family.

For all of these things and more I am thankful.

What was Abby thankful for? "Flowers, the sun, the moon, my family, and my cat and dog."

OVERWHELMED...

2010-11-06T08:10:00.000-07:00

Between work, Medicare phone calls, the kids, school, homework, swim practice, dance, Junior League, and a husband that is working more hours than there are in the day... I am taking a much deserved bloggy break... I will see you... January 1!

I am keeping fantasy thoughts of Maui in my mind...

Please Pause for a Note from my SPONSOR!!!

2010-10-07T18:47:00.000-07:00

Are you looking for fantastic spirit wear for your little girl? Need an adorable birthday shirt for your little princess? Do you know a mom that would like a super cute name necklace?

Go no further than...

2 Sweet Designs is owned my good friends, Melissa and Brian.

She made this for Abby...And this for the Abby's class basket for the Reagan Carnival...I forgot to take a picture before I put it in this...

Isn't it cute? I think so! I am in love with the ribbon!In case you were wondering...

Brian is standing by to take your order!

Tell him Rachel sent you!

Air Quotes...

2010-10-07T18:20:00.000-07:00

The other night at dinner the conversation between the kids and I revolved around what happened at school that day...

Jack- Abby, what do you drink at lunch? White milk or Chocolate?

Abby- Jack, I drink chocolate milk.

Mom- What do you drink at lunch?

Jack- Water. I am not not what you would call a {insert air quote} milk fan.

Mom- Milk fan? okay, but what is this {insert air quote}.

Jack- Air quotes Mom. Duh!

Seriously, third grade... is this one the long list of things that I can attribute to my kid learned from watching 1 too many episodes of iCarly or Hannah Montana? Air quotes and his love of spaghetti tacos.

This week...

2010-10-02T09:14:00.000-07:00

I am so glad it is the weekend again! It took long enough to get here. This week pretty much ran me over like a freight train. It went like this- Monday- work, work in Abby's classroom, dance class, pick up Jack, do homework, Cub Scouts, TV, bed. Tuesday- work, ..... I can't even remember the rest of Tuesday... I know it ended with dinner out because I couldn't do one more thing, TV, and bed. AND IT WAS HOT (the temperature, not in bed, get your mind out of the gutter)! Wednesday- (this is when it gets good)- work (it is getting really busy with October 1st only 2 days away), lots of phone calls with old men that have no business working let alone operating a computer and me trying to assist them- annoying, Steve left for an overnight business trip that was not clearly communicated to his wife or children, homework with Papa while I worked SOME MORE, dinner, early to bed for the kids so that I could catch up on hours of DVR'd shows. Thursday- bed, work- dealing with more computer issues, more angry agents, training, paperwork, realize at 2:30 Steve is not going to be home until 9 pm- AGHHHHH!, start daydreaming about my fictional trip to Maui- by myself!, get to the bus stop... no kids, realize it is Thursday- intervention day, run to school to get Abby and wait for Jack, grocery store, home, dinner, work, Surprise! Steve is home early, the guy took the hint that I was passing the buck to him when he got home to find me eating outside with a glass of wine, and the kids inside doing... what? ok! ... I don't know what they were doing, Steve put them to bed, watched TV, bed Friday- Don't even get me started about Friday... I pray that next week is better.

Heard...

2010-09-25T14:57:00.000-07:00

Cousin days aren't a very frequent occurrence for us, even though 100% of our first cousins live within a 5 mile radius of our house. Why? I don't know... it is a lot of work... I am lazy... we are too busy... and if we aren't busy the thought of entertaining even my own kids is exhausting (have a mentioned I need a nap). My sister is expecting her 3rd baby, she deserves a combat medal this trimester... they are in the process of buying a house, selling, a house, moving, she works full-time, she volunteers at school and Junior League in her spare time, and her first 2 children are both boys that are full of energy, and if that wasn't enough she has been put on "house arrest" by her doctor. That is when big sister steps in with help. The boys are here today and these are the things that are seen around the house. "The Bounty Hunter is going to attack Puppyland." It was a brutal battle of the Clones vs. LPS... LPS was victorious because of their secret weapon... Prince Eric! "Aunt Rachel, can we play Legos?" at least a million times. "I want Macaroni and Cheese for lunch."... 10 minutes later... "I don't like Mac and Cheese." "Does your mom have Iron Man song on her iPod? You have to listen to this song Patrick, it is one of the greatest. Do you like Black Sabbath?" Yes, we have already introduced our children to the wonderful world of Heavy Metal- I know! Bad Mommy! "Keith, what's on your butt? Turn around. What is on your butt?" I wish I had a picture of this because what it looked like was going to require Keith to strip in the driveway and undergo a through hose down. Luckily, it was only a grass stain. 3 o'clock faster than I thought it would, the kids had funny and I am ready for a beer. See you soon boys!

How is it going???

2010-09-15T15:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I got 80% of the way through unloading the dishwasher before I realized that the dishes in it were in fact DIRTY! Gross! Today I came home to realize two things:

I didn't run the dishwasher this morning like I thought I had.
I still have dirty dishes hidden with the clean ones... GAG!

Does that answer your question?

Sicko...

2010-09-01T16:55:00.001-07:00

So Jack was scheduled to have his flu shot today, the annual return to school visit to the doctor to have liquid shoved up your nose appointment is more like it. This morning he woke up with a runny nose and a fake cough. He felt warm but Bad Mommy sent him to school. You can't miss your 8th day of 3rd grade right? So at the doctor's office he coughed and ran all over the office - lovely! When we finally got put in the room the nurse took his temp and then asked me how long had he been sick. Seriously?!? Less then 16 hours. I bit the bullet and asked for a Dr note to miss school "just in case" . Little Big Ears didn't miss that! Especially after Bad Mommy made him still get the flu shot and in the form of a shot, rather than the more desirable "mist". Guess who is milking the "sick" diagnosis for all it is worth... I can't tell if he is really asleep or faking it. I guess missing day 9 of 3rd grade is okay.

How Was Your Day...

2010-08-24T21:47:00.000-07:00

I did it to my parents why wouldn't my kids do it to me???

The report today when asked how Abby's day went was:

1. I didn't see Jack at lunch.

2. She may or may not have shared a baby pickle with a girl in the purple dress... "now can I have a playday with Miya?" (I got this after I threatened that if there was not a change in attitude about school then there would never again be another Miya- Abby Playday).

3. She didn't like Campus Club.

4. Riding the bus was okay. Jack didn't forget me at school.

While at Grandma's this evening the real story emerged.

1. The playground is FUN and crowded.

2. The bus ride was cool.

3. Abby played with the girl in the purple dress, but she can't remember her name, but she "likes everything" about her (about Abby, not the other way around, yet).

I would have to say good reconnaissance work Dad! Thank God, day two was better. At bedtime Abby told me that when I said good-bye this morning it made her eyes want to cry but she was brave... that is all I am asking for , Babycakes

The First Day...

2010-08-23T13:59:00.000-07:00

We survived! The first day of Kindergarten. The last of the tears were cried last night at bedtime, when I told Abby that I could not stay at school with her for 3 hours because I had already done Kindergarten back in 1980. This morning she is up, and ready to an exciting day of school.

The end of the first day school report was:

Kindergarten is boring.
The playground is no fun.
Abby made no new friends.
Kindergarten is hot. (Just wait for Wednesday, Babycakes!)
And there are no toys, just magic playdoh... which is no fun.

The brightside is that instead of me picking her up tomorrow she would like to go to Campus Club and ride the bus home with Jack. Done!

Someone is NERVOUS...

2010-08-20T07:39:00.000-07:00

About the First Day of School... okay maybe two people... Yesterday was the fateful "class list" day. The day that you finally figure out who you are going to entrust the education of your child to for the next 180 days because you couldn't homeschool your kids without it ending in murder. Jack is excited... to see where his friends are. Abby is reluctant to get out of the car... she is "too tired". WHATEVER!

"Yes!" I exclaim as I realize that both kids got the teachers that we wanted for them.

Jack was consumed with where "The Twins" are (in case you were wondering...finally placed appropriately in separate classrooms), and who stayed back in second grade. Nice!

Abby tried to hide, act like a baby that needed to be held, and nearly cried.

At home, Abby promptly refused to eat what I made for lunch, threw a fit, was sent to her room, and fained a stomach ache.

At dinner, I explained to Steve that someone is N*E*R*V*O*U*S about school. So the questions start, sure enough 3 questions deep Abby lowers her head, juts out her lip,and doesn't say a word. THEN... the tears come and the "Mommy feelings of making the worst decision in the World for her kid" start, along with horrible flashbacks of Summer Fun 3 weeks ago with the sobbing and the screaming. I am ready to panic, "what is Monday going to be like???" 4 minutes later the old Abby is back, asking if she can take herself to the bathroom in the restaurant, I don't get it! Who is this child?

Last night, I dreamt crazy dreams of dropping Abby off for school (with the drama) and then forgetting to pick her up from school (with MORE drama). I woke up in a panic... maybe my psyche is telling me something... Okay... I admit it... I am N*E*R*V*O*U*S too! My Baby is going to be in Kindergarten! Of course, I am nervous!

The Weeks have become Days...

2010-08-18T15:29:00.000-07:00

It is back to school time!

And guess what my kids finally figured out???

SLEEPING IN!!!

And preferably in the same twin bed.

What will next Monday be like?

"Is this Heaven???"

2010-08-07T08:52:00.000-07:00

In Heaven can you...

Hear the corn grow?

Let Aunt Sue do crazy things?Take a cousin picture everyday?

Let 2 calves lick you at once? Maybe.Go to a new water park everyday? I hope so! Pose for more cousin pictures?How about a couple more?Get to visit old friends? Of course! Catch Lightening Bugs? I don't think so!

It must be IOWA!

Beach Bums!!!

2010-07-30T08:59:00.000-07:00

Pictures from our recent trip to El Capitan State Beach. Beautiful! El Capitan Beach. Refugio State Beach

Jack learned to play Black Jack.

Camping food is the best!

One more trip marked off of Max's Bucket List.

We stayed at the greatest campground on the planet!

(so says the lady who was done most of her camping in racetrack parking lots).

A Perfect Pottery Painting Party fit for a Princess...

2010-07-15T07:59:00.001-07:00

2 parties with plenty of presents.

10 pals painting pots and eating pizza.

A pool party at the castle pond.

3 pretty mermaid Barbies, 1 pink Barbie car.

500 pounds of ice in the pool to make it cool.

Peering at a movie in 3D.

A pretty princess ready to turn five!

Not without a pink polka dot pedicure!

And pitching a fit.

And patience.

How's that for alliteration?

Happy Birthday Abby!

Naptime...

2010-07-09T16:56:00.000-07:00

As I type the Kuhtz relatives are converging on Fresno ( actually one is setting up their motor home in our side yard) for the first ever James and Mary Kuhtz Family Reunion. This afternoon I either needed a nap or a cocktail. I opted for the nap and then a cocktail. Wish me luck!

The Best Holiday...

2010-07-04T08:13:00.000-07:00

I love the 4th of July, so does Steve. But last week both Jack and Abby declared that the 4th of July was their favorite holiday (my guess is it is until Christmas rolls around).

I asked the kids why the 4th was their favorite. Here are their responses:

Abby: I like to have all my friends over to swim. And to have my mom and dad there. Jack: I like fireworks. And the "pop rocks" (The Wolf Pack). They make a mess and Rob Krider hates them.

This year's 4th festivities will bring a whole new love/ expectation of the holiday... We rented a giant water slide and he have a face painter coming! The kids will be in Heaven!

Happy Independence Day!

Tales of A Bad Mommy...

2010-07-02T14:14:00.000-07:00

This week Jack and Abby experienced 2 firsts. When your kids are infants and toddlers, it seems like everyday is a new first. At 8 and almost 5 firsts are hard to come by AND they definitely don't happen in the same 24-hour period.

Wednesday night, Jack played his first water polo game. He had fun. He swam fast. He began to understand the importance of offense AND defense. In a game of boys vs. girls- the girl prevailed. We took lots of pictures and some video.

On Thursday night, Abby swam in her first swim meet. No one was sure how this would turn out especially from the kid who is constantly swimming on the bottom of the pool and begging to get out of practice. We were so unsure we even bribed her with a "Campfire Blast" from Sonic after the meet. She was so happy!!! She was so serious!!! She was so ssssslllloooooooowwwwww! But she made it. Do I have pictures to document this historical occasion? NOPE! The camera was missing, Steve had it last not me! Typical second child stuff, I made an extra deposit in the therapy fund this morning. We will make we sure that we take a bunch next week!

To Be or Not to Be...

2010-06-28T16:32:00.000-07:00

BUSY!!!

Today is the beginning of week 3 of Summer Vacation and without a doubt we have been busy, with more busyness to come. There has been swim practice, water polo practice, a week of Cub Scout Day Camp, a dance recital, a weekend at the All American Soapbox Derby, 5 days in Vegas for mom and dad and 3 days in Disneyland for the kids with Grandma and PaPa Kuhtz, summer school! We haven't even hit July yet! There is still the Kuhtz Family Reunion and Zoo Camp for Jack, and Abby's birthday extravaganza.

I am most excited about August, and not because the kids go back to school. The kids and I will spend a week in Iowa at Great Grandma Keith's house. Then we come home and turn around and spend a week camping in Shaver with friends.

I may complain, but being busy is way better then being bored. Don't you think? :)

51.1!!!

2010-06-10T09:19:00.000-07:00

While Second Grade has not been the easiest 180 days for any of us. Jack has a competitive drive that keeps him moving in the right direction. On Tuesday, he received the highest reading award at Reagan Elementary School, for achieving 51.1 AR points in one school year. We are so proud. Check out his super cool medal. It is engraved with his name and 51.1! AWESOME!

Last Day of...

2010-06-10T09:16:00.001-07:00

PRESCHOOL!

And I made it through without completely crying like a baby. My baby is officially a Kindergartener! BOOOO! HOOOOO!

Summer Hasn't Even Started AND...

2010-06-08T16:31:00.000-07:00

I have already lost my patience and I know that school goes back on August 24th. My Summer Bridge homework books are not the most fun that an 8 year old boy who has not missed a day of school in the last 177 days could have. Poor Jack, school isn't easy for him and no one can figure out why. Is it motivation? Is it that he can't see? Is it that all of this stuff he is supposed to know hasn't "clicked" yet? I don't know but he is going to have a long 9 weeks if this is going to be his attitude (and mine for that matter). I am thinking about making a bumper sticker that reads "My perfect attendance student drives me up the wall. (That's why he goes to school every day)" Meanest Mom!

Daddy's Girl...

2010-06-01T18:16:00.000-07:00

This morning Abby told me that she was pretty sure that her fifth birthday party would be a "pony party". I told her that her "pony party" would be without the main character... a pony. I know I am a mean mom, I would have totally done it if Jack asked for them at his birthday. The problem is timing... or better put THE TIME OF YEAR! July in Fresno is not known for its horse riding temperatures.

I was pretty sure that I had convinced her that a nice indoor tea party with fancy dresses and food would be fun or the old standby - a pool party, could be a nice alternative. Abby was having none of that especially when Daddy came in and told his little princess that "of course she can have ponies" at her party. Thanks a lot! I guess I better start looking into one of these...

I Just Realized...

2010-05-29T15:00:00.000-07:00

That these were sitting ripe and ready in our orchard! I love summer!

Now what to do with my beautiful trees full of them? Any ideas?

Abby and I checked it out and the peaches are about 3 weeks from being ready. Then we are really going to need some help. 8 peach, nectarine, and apricot trees will leave us all with the runs if we eat them all.

Four eyed, brace face (part 2)...

2010-05-27T08:56:00.000-07:00

Today is the big day! Jack is getting "Phase 1" of his braces put on. He has asked no less then 5000 question since he woke up. He is very excited to get his very own Kubo Super shirt (he needs to earn 5 more points before he can take one home, Mom was late to his appointment this morning).

Before... When Jack couldn't see the board in the classroom or read street signs.

Monday... Add 2 more eyes, he sees clearly now!

Thursday... Let's work on those teeth now!

He was so proud of his yellow and lime rubberbands this morning. By 3:30 this afternoon he was ready to have them taken off, so he could have the licorice that the PE tutors gave him. This is going to be a long year!

Congratulations to Jack! You are growing up so quick!

A "Wimpy" Party...

2010-05-26T16:32:00.000-07:00

Jack is infatuated with the "Diary of the Wimpy Kid" books. I decided that a "wimpy" party could possibly be the best 8 th birthday party EVER... but I was missing one thing... SUPPLIES! I am sure that I am not the only one who received the all too timely party supply catalogs in the mail. Every party you could possibly imagine right there at your fingertips. Not so for the wimpy set. AGHHHH! What will a desperate mother do who has less than 7 days to the party, who has not every read one of the books?

CREATE HER OWN SUPPLIES!!!

I started with wimpifying my child.

Then I dreamed the best cake EVER! A Wimpy Jack on the cake not too hard- right? The friendly baker at my local grocery store was all too happy to indulge me with my dream of a fudge piped cake of Wimpy Jack.

Then I used the same image and made labels for brown paper goodie bags. On Tuesday I may or I may not have dropped everything and read the original Diary in less than an hour. I needed ideas for goodie bag favors, I got them alright! I even came up with a Goodie Bag Challenge.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid Goodie Bag Challenge All of the contents of this bag somehow relate to the Wimpy Kid stories, do you know how? 1. Greg and Rowley like to use this with their Big Wheel. 2. Fregley's favorite candy. 3. Greg could have woren this with his Halloween costume. 4. Grandma's favorite junk food. 5. Are you "it"? Cross your fingers to avoid the "touch". 6. Greg didn't want to miss throwing these at Patty Farrell "Dorothy". 7. Safety Patrol always gets this before homeroom. 8. ZOO-WEE MAMA! Jack is 8!

(Contents of the bag- Apple, Hot Chocolate pack, a miniature football, jellybeans, Cheese Its, M&Ms, a pirate tattoo, Sour Licorice)
On the day of Jack's first party, I decided that the cousins needed a party favor. I made a last minute run to Target with $5 and an idea. I came out quite with 5 of those cool, retro notebooks, some change, and a feeling of satisfaction. This is what I came up with... Pretty cute right?

Ultimately having nothing to start with resulted in me being VERY happy about all the ideas that I was able to come up with (on pretty short notice) for the best 8 year old boy that I know. Love you Jack!

Crash...

2010-05-26T15:53:00.001-07:00

Ouch!

Four eyed, brace face...

2010-05-24T20:02:00.000-07:00

Poor Jack, the kid can't catch a break. Today he got his first pair of glasses. In the car he promptly asked his sister if she could read the street sign because he could. Really? This is really bad! To make matters worse, Thursday he gets braces! The first step is to admit you have a problem right? Do my dorky kids make me uncool? Luckily my favorite wikihow can instruct you on "How to Rock Glasses and Braces". Thank God for wikihow!

When 10 years feels like 20...

2010-05-24T10:27:00.000-07:00

It is something to be celebrated... Right? 10 years of marriage is a long time.

But Steve and I belong on the "Not so Good about Telling Each Other What We Really Want" List. Our Anniversaries have gone something like this.

Year 1 (Feels like Meter- 2)- Romantic dinner at Bass Lake and the purchase of our first DVD player and DVD "Braveheart", I vaguely remember falling asleep about 20 minutes in.

Year 2 (FLM- 4)- Newborn baby, Post-partum tears, Mom, Dad, AND baby go see Spider Man, Mom and baby lasted 55 minutes.

Year 5 (FLM 10)- Pregnant, hot, uncomfortable... quick night out to the movies to see... Episode 3... YES! a Star Wars movie for our anniversary.

Year 7 (FLM 14)- Totally surprise trip to New York City, tickets to Wicked, dinner at Nobu. AMAZING!

Year 8 (FLM 16)- Repeat performance to NYC! Romance is in the air! Burgers and beers at our favorite bar under the Brooklyn Bridge- it doesn't get better than that.

Year 9 (FLM 18)- Forgettable... because I can't remember what we did.

Year 10 (FLM 20)- No trips to Maui. No dinner plans. No babysitter. I am thinking about buying a Blu-ray player and Star Wars and Spiderman Boxsets... romantic right?

Like I said neither one of us is very good about saying exactly what we want.

A Sure Sign that You Go to the Strawberry Stand Too Much...

2010-05-20T11:51:00.000-07:00

My favorite part about living in Fresno in April, May, and keep your fingers crossed June is STRAWBERRIES! A few weeks ago the lady that works the stand said to me "You're back for more? You like the big ones pick this box, the other box only has small ones." Good grief.

Today I pulled up in my rental car and my new best friend said "what happened to your Mercedes?" I explained that I was driving a rental because I had been in a car accident. Her response "Oh! I like your other car better." Clearly, I go to the strawberry stand too much!

What Happened to April???

2010-05-01T07:25:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe it is May 1st! Whatever happened to my favorite summer anticipation month? Why do I find myself not so "bloggy"? Here is the rundown of April 2010...

1. Cousins spent the night. Jack and Abby spent the night at the cousins.

2. Fresno couldn't decide if it was Spring, Summer, or WINTER! For every one day of beautiful weather we had no less than 3 days of wind, rain, and hail to follow.

3. Jack turned 8 with great style. 2 parties on 2 different days.

4. We saw Taylor Swift.

5. The kids swam.

6. Steve raced.

7. I worked.

8. Steve worked.

9. We won BIG (not really) money at Chuckchansi.

10. Our house was broken into.

11. The kids went to school.

12. The kids and I went to the new indoor swap meet.

13. I started my 3rd diet of 2010.

14. I "facebooked".

15. The kids and Steve went to see "How to Train A Dragon".

16. I worked on Junior League stuff.

17. Our brand-new, fresh out of the box computer came and promptly died. No pictures, what's the point in blogging.

18. We started the assault on the Kuhtz Snails 2010. I think the snails are winning.

19. We celebrated Keith Callahan's birthday.

20. The kids went to karate.

21. My sister, Lindsay announced that she and Kevin are expecting another baby in October.

WOW! quite the month! I guess I know why it went by so fast.

When do Moms get some love???

2010-04-18T10:11:00.000-07:00

My husband fancies himself a race car driver, as do 4 or 5 of his dorky friends. While I like to make fun of his midlife career switch, I do envy him for having a hobby that lets him do some that he loves with his friends. For the record this is HIS hobby not mine. But for some reason so far for 2010 I have spent 3 entire weekends in less than 8 weeks camping in a parking lots, listening to dumb stories about the last race (and the next race), making sandwiches, cleaning up after "The Race Team", not to mention the countless hours I spent discussing and planning for these events (oops! I mentioned it). Granted I was there with my BFF, Sara but still not the way she or I would choose to spend several rainy and cold weekends.

So amidst racing, Sara and I came up with a plan for a "Girls Weekend" away. Nothing extravagant but a relaxing weekend away where we don't have to cook, clean, or worry about having the proper rain gear. April 16 to 18th was to be the weekend. Guess where I am now??? Sitting in my kitchen, yelling at the kids to clean their rooms AGAIN, wondering when is this mom going to get her time, and worrying about the budget. Where is Steve??? Camping in a parking lot, eating God knows what because I haven't stepped foot in a grocery store in at least a week, happy as a clam, drinking beer, driving cars, and telling the same dumb stories to the same dumb friends. LUCKY!

Our Cousin Patrick and his brother... (aka- That Keith...)

2010-04-13T13:40:00.001-07:00

Have you met my nephew Keith? He has got to be one of the funniest kids around (or at least Lindsay and I think so). Abby has determined that Cousin Patrick's brother is "weird"!

A few weeks ago Keith spent the night for the first time, it was his preggo mom's birthday present. The kid can't help but to make you laugh. The evening started with Jack's room being locked from the inside to keep Keith from bringing 10,000 LEGOs into the rest of the house and all the kids being thrown outside. Banishment did not hinder Keith desire for those precious LEGOs, he returned to the house no less then 20 times with request of "I need just 1 (index finger up) more LEGO" and "excuse me , please, I need one more". NO GO! After dinner, the older kids swam in the hot tub while Keith attempted to drink the entire thing. Resulting in a hot tub full of barf, and the other kids running for the hills, declaring Keith "disgusting!" Bottomline is that Keith gets blamed for everything. I guess that is the curse of being the youngest cousin.

The latest conversation with Abby about Keith:

Abby- Keith is gross.

Mom- Why?

Abby- Keith eats dog food. (With a look of repulse on her face.)

Mom- Keith is 3, that is what 3 year olds do.

Abby- When I was three I didn't eat dog food.

Mom- (At a loss for words) Abby- Keith sat in the sand and ate dog food like this... (demonstrating Keith enjoying a tasty bowl of kibble) Mom- Do you think he does it to get a reaction out of you? (I realize that at 4.5 she is not going to understand that her cousin is a comedian and he is looking for her to react to his crazy behavior)

Abby- *SIGH* That is still no reason to eat dog food.

Mom- (She had me there) So what do you want for lunch? (I decided that changing the subject was my best bet for winning this argument.)

This week Keith officially turned THREE. What did we get him? A box FULL of LEGO men and his own dog food dish. :)

SURPRISE!!!

2010-04-11T11:55:00.000-07:00

Abby loves music. Her repertoire includes the likes of Jimmy Buffett, Avril Lavine, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Ke$ha, and her personal favorite... Taylor Swift. Last night Taylor was in Fresno performing and we got tickets to her sold out show! Abby had no clue until we were on our way to the show. It was awesome! "Oh THANK YOU Daddy!" The highlights were: 1. watching our 4 1/2 year old "Beatlesqe" scream for her girl. 2. watch her just about fall over when Taylor talked about he best friend "Abigail". And Abby convinced that she was most definitely talking about her. ADORABLE! 3. Abby telling us on the car ride home that Taylor most definitely knows her. LOVE IT! All of you Taylor Fans better watch out because there because Abby is her #1 FAN. I wouldn't mess with this little girl and her Taylor.

Seriously...

2010-04-11T11:52:00.000-07:00

New computer arrived and already is having MAJOR problems! So unfair! Thanks for nothing DELL!

The Highlights... Day 1

2010-04-01T21:00:00.000-07:00

WE MADE IT!!!

The salt farm outside of Amboy, California.We mysteriously got locked out of the RV.

But luckily... Mom remembered the secret passage and ABBY SAVED THE DAY!The infamous "Shoe Tree". I wonder which shoe finally broke the tree's back? The topper to the day? Route Beer 66 and roasted marshmallows.

Get Your Kicks on...

2010-03-31T08:38:00.000-07:00

Steve and I recently decided to do something we never do... take a trip with kids and NO PLANS- other than we are bringing the RV! Crazy- I know! We agreed that we at least needed to plan a direction to start heading and then we would play it by ear. We simply said we would go south and then east (bypassing the dreaded LA traffic, crowds, and amusement parks. Scandalise! I saw this trip going one of two ways... 1. We would end up eating every meal in some roadside greasy spoon and spending the night in flea bag motels a long the way. Miserable. 2. We would love camping in the RV in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. Grilling burgers and dogs under the starry skies complete with a full moon. We chose Option 2. The kids loved the goofy Route 66 roadside stands. We put a giant K on the side of the road using beer bottles (I was assured this was art and not littering). We collected postcards and pins. We saw The Grand Canyon, the Hoover Dam and Lake Mead, and Joshua Tree National Park. We spent Sunday literally zigzagging between Arizona, Nevada, and California. Jack acted as Ansel Adams reincarnated, taking pictures of elk, the canyon, water, the funny hats that he saw, the kitchy things at the Sno Cap and Roadkill Cafe restaurants. We sang Jimmy Buffett, Jack Johnson, and Taylor Swift songs. We had a GREAT time!

Next stop???

YELLOWSTONE

No pictures can be shown because I am afraid that I might make all of you hate me with jealousy. :) Just kidding... Major computer virus is still plaguing our house.

BUSTED!!!

2010-02-28T13:59:00.000-08:00

Abby decided to start pursuing a possible vocation last week... hair stylist. Her own hair stylist to be specific. I could have died...

The location for her new salon is under her father's desk at his office. It is a nice, small, private salon, big enough for only one person. It could use some sprucing up and decluttering but it seems to do the job just fine. I could have died...

This is the child who earlier in the week cried (tears and all) telling me that she didn't want David to cut her hair because she needed long hair like Kayden's (a little girl at school with the most beautiful hair and Abby's newest "best friend forever"). I could have died...

Have I mentioned that I have hair issues? Seriously! As a kid I had the worst hair, while my sister Lindsay was allowed to have cute pigtails with Shirley Temple ringlets I was forced (sorry Mom this is the way I remember it) a short Afro that was unmanageable and not cute. I could have died...

Growing up I swore that if I ever had a daughter I would not pass on my hair issues to her (like some mothers pass on their weight issues). She will have beautiful curly hair. She will get to wear hair clips, bows, and ponytails. I will buy her hair products that will help us both manage her hair with ease. I could die right now...

For some reason my sister shares my hair trauma. She put it best when she saw Abby on Friday...

"Abby, you know when your mom and I were little girls we NEVER cut our own hair? Your hair is precious, you need to take care of your hair, Abby. " Abby could have died...

Let's just hope my daughter has learned her lesson. If she cuts her hair again, I will surely die.

***I apologize for no after pictures. A major virus has taken over our media computer. I will post pictures after it is repaired and Abby's hair is repaired. :)

The Routine...

2010-02-28T12:47:00.000-08:00

There is something comforting about a routine, the familiarity and rhythm of the monotony of doing the same thing the same way over and over again. Sometimes the predictability is annoying because the precedence has been set and enjoyed by most. Time to air dirty laundry... again... Our Sunday routine goes something like this- 6:40- First child wakes (the specific child changes from week to week). 6:55- First child awake wakes second child. 7:00- Both children wake parents, with requests of breakfast and / or television. 7:01- One parent says to the other parent (this alternates also), something to the effect of "they wake up before 7 on the weekend and you have to drag them out of bed on a school day". *** Some time around 8- children return with demands of food. 8:10- the parent that feels most guilty (usually Steve) rolls out of bed and again mumbles the parent mantra. 8:30- breakfast served. Television is switched from the Flintstones to NASCAR Raceday. I am not sure what happens between 8:30 and 10:30 because I am asleep. After all I am the parent who gets up the other 6 days of the week and drags the children from their slumber, makes breakfast and lunch, and gets 1 1/2 children ready for school. 10:30- 3 excited family member wish the last person awake a "good morning", the early riser parent and the late risers do the parent equivalent of a relay exchange (signifying that the first parent is not longer responsible for the needs for the children for at least 3 hours). For the next few hours kids play, parents read and use the computer, and the TV drones in the background. Jack asks no less than 10 times what time the race starts (this happens 52 weeks a year, even though racing only takes place 36 weeks out of the year. Between 12 and 1- One adult convinces the another adult to go pick up the obligatory steak sandwich from our favorite sandwich shop. By 2- Dad is asleep on the couch, comatose from the lull of racecars and the sandwich hitting the right spot. Jack is expertly keeping notes on the race. Mom and Abby find something to do. By 5- Dad is awake, race is over, Jack has downloaded the race, and Mom and Abby are bored. 6:30- Dinner (in or out). Maybe a trip to Target to pick up supplies for the week. 7- BEDTIME for kiddos. Clothes are set out for school. Jammies on. Teeth brushed. Homework is looked at. Kitchen is cleaned up. 7:45- Mom and Dad settle into a night of catching up on reality TV and sitcoms. What is your Sunday routine? *** I think that this has been a statement made by parents of school aged children for generations and for generations to come.

Day 3 of the sick kid forecast...

2010-02-26T11:29:00.000-08:00

I am a mean mom. I readily admit that I deny my children luxuries that other kids take for granted. Being that I am in the middle of day 3 home with a sick kid (or so she claimed this morning when she cried about the possibility of throwing up at school), I am climbing the walls! I feel that if I have been home with a sick kid for 3 days (and eluded the germs) I am entitled to a few luxuries like:

pay per view movies.
hot cocoa upon request.
getting a pass on cleaning the bathrooms this week.
not going to the grocery store.
eating take out.
reading my book all day.
taking a nap.
long , hot baths.
warm just out of the oven Tastefully Simple Beer Bread with homemade strawberry jam.

Dad picking up Jack from karate and bringing home a dinner that I didn't have to call in, request, or have to make a decision about. (Hey! a girl can dream can't she?)
And a new red Kate Spade handbag. Wouldn't be so bad either! Kind of like a "push present", but a "vomit gift".

It Doesn't Get Better Than...

2010-02-12T20:45:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day! If you are a 4 year old girl that is. This 34 year old girl can think of a lot of things better than Valentine's Day, but this blog isn't about me... Things heard coming from the backseat of my car today...

"Oh that Sayler, she is such a sweet girl."
"What a beautiful card Maya picked!"
"This is the cutest puppy card I have ever seen!"
"I am going to have to thank all my friends for all of my Valentimes (note the spelling) cards!"
"I wonder how much candy I got. I certainly need to share some with Jack!"
"Who made this delicious cake?"... that comment almost prompted me to swerve off the road to save the nice black leather in my new car.
"Sienna gave me my favorite kind of candy. She is my best friend in the whole World forever!"
"That Jacob is such a nice boy!"
"Hee! Hee! I gave myself two Valentime's! That is so funny!"

Now I know who Valentine's Day is for... the 4 year old girl who could eat all the sap and then some with a spoon.

NASCAR on VDay...

2010-02-11T19:38:00.000-08:00

Every year my friend Sara and her husband host a Daytona 500 party. NASCAR like football has nothing to do with what women want or like, this year is no exception- the Daytona 500 takes place on Sunday, February 14th- Valentine's Day and if you are as lucky as I am smack dab in the middle of a 3 day weekend. While some women are romanced with these...

We get to suffer through 500 laps of...

... while our husbands drink beer, talk about racing, race cars, and the next race and we get to supervise the kids, serve food, and clean up after the men. Good times!

This year Sara decided to put a fun little twist on the party, to make it more interesting for the ladies. Each lady is supposed to select her "favorite" (i.e.- the best looking) driver to be their NASCAR boyfriend. The goal is to see who can make their husband made first about the attention that said woman is paying to her NASCAR bf.

I am sooooooo excited because "my NASCAR bf" will be joining me at the party! I have big plans for C.E. and I this Valentine's Day, he will be very impressed by my creative use of frosting on his good luck gift. I can't wait for the Daytona 500! See Sara it worked!

Working Girl...

2010-02-11T19:07:00.000-08:00

As a teen I had big dreams, high hopes, and lofty expectations that I would someday be one of those super chic, working for my money, city girls, you know what I am talking about like Melanie Griffith in the cult classic "Working Girl". As things work out I never was really good at the chic part, and there is nothing hip about teaching, and Iowa was far from the city... and then you add a husband and 2 children and I realized that there wasn't even time for the working part.

Until last September, when Steve proposed that I help him "man a booth" at Wal Mart (not chic- in the least bit!). I agreed to help because 6 or 7 weeks wouldn't be so bad. Shortly after my booth sitting began, Steve came to me again because he needed someone to call "some people" (489 people to be exact, with a marketing plan that involved calling people no less than 8 times before considering them a "dead lead"- morbid I know! Especially when we are talking about the Senior market), I agreed to do it. By Christmas we were all running out of steam (everyone but Steve, who put an amazing 12,000 miles on his truck in the last 6 weeks of 2009 and signed 150+ new clients).

So now the Medicare season is slow, so I have graciously agreed to recruit and contract new agents to work for the 2010 Annual Election Period, what was I thinking! Because most of my days are leisurely. And then there are days like today I called 20 agents, 30 potential clients, and baked 20 dozen (the math is a little blurry) cookies for the kids Valentine Parties tomorrow. I also worked out for 30 minutes on Wii Fit Plus, took Steve's down coat to the cleaners, got my car washed, made copies of Valentines games for Jack's class, went to the bank, the post office, the office supply store, and the grocery store. I even cleaned out the totally gross clog in my bathroom drain! The only thing that didn't get checked off my list was putting the furniture back after having the carpets cleaned--- WHY? because the guy never showed up to clean them!

I have to say I think that I am most definitely a working girl.

Demoted...

2010-02-04T15:05:00.000-08:00

February and March every year stresses me out! Preschool, which class, money, Kindergarten, AM? PM?, summer school, reading levels... the list is a mile long! This year I was quite certain that I was going to be able to make is through February and March without coping through all the decision making with acne and binge eating, because Abby is going to Kindergarten and she will be going to school with Jack next fall! (The cheering section of moms goes wild!!!) Or at least I thought she was until she did this...

After some serious soul searching and excessive eating... I came to the conclusion that another year of preschool for my little Miss. July would not be such a bad thing. Now just to convince her father.

Boy!!!

2010-02-04T14:51:00.000-08:00

My sister has 2 boys which I think qualifies her to write numerous blogs about the joys of parenting 2 future men. I have one boy which only makes me ponder if there is something wrong with my model or is mine just like everyone elses'. So it is time to air Jack's dirty laundry... literally.

My boy-

You must ask him no less than 10 times to brush his teeth every morning and then again every night.
He has to brush his teeth no less then 3 times before he goes to school and I still pick food out of his teeth at the bus stop.
I tell him that he can't sleep in the clothes that he wore to school AND he definitely can't wear the same thing to school 2 days in a row.
I have to remind him of the merits of personal hygiene (ie- you must shower more than once a week, and no less than once).
We keep his hair short to avoid the battle of the curls, and the more frequent shower war.
I count the number of pairs of underwear and socks in the laundry basket and wonder if I should start to tell him that he needs to be sure to change his underwear and socks no less than once a day.

So many rules but I don't want to raise one of those really icky boys, or am I already?

My Current Facebook Status...

2010-01-28T16:30:00.000-08:00

Reads...

"Rachel Kuhtz's children are not very smart. When they heard 'go outside and ride your bikes,' they actually heard 'go outside and spray each other with the garden hose and try to hide it from me.'"

Oh- the joys of parenting!

Are you surprised that each one blamed the other for the crime?

I am not.

A New Car...

2010-01-14T19:40:00.000-08:00

The lease is up and I am shopping for a new car. The choices are numerous but with the appeal of a lower payment and better gas mileage, I am really trying to go bare bones (Rachel style- let's not get too crazy). So for the past week I have been visiting, emailing, texting, calling, and test driving with my favorite car salesmen, Ed. I think Ed thinks I am crazy, but I am hoping that he understands that Steve is the crazy one and despite what I want my husband ultimately has the purchase power not me. So we have gone back and forth about car vs. SUV, options, safety features, payments, color, etc. While I do all the work Steve works his butt off just to step on the car lot to purchase the car

(or in the case of this week totally veto the car that I thought I was getting- totally a pain).

You want to know what I will be driving.... Wait for it....

2010 Porsche Panamera Turbo

Don't I wish!

What kind of cruel wife would I be to get a Porsche

the year that her husband was promised he would get one of his own...

OK so seriously, it could be a...

1992 Acura Integra.

We have one sitting in the mud in the backyard.

I don't know.

Decisions. Decisions. Decisions.

Clean It Yourself...

2010-01-13T16:17:00.000-08:00

That means that the RK Cleaning and Household Chores business is open. Only one client and she (and the 4 year old daughter) is keeping me plenty busy. It seems like the minute one room is done and I start another the previous room is already a mess. I wish that I had the power to give up. But how I enjoy a clean house, the smell the carpet, the shine... My heart skips a beat.

Some how I am going to figure this all out because saving $300+ a month is very appealing. Especially when I see walls that need to be painted and furniture to be made. I think I have finally figured out what to do with my blahz-ah Master Bedroom (hint- it will include the purchase of a door!!!) Oh- and summer vacations are right around the corner!!! I am very excited for what we have planned this summer!

Merry Christmas…

2009-12-26T21:43:00.001-08:00

The reason to blog is new laptop and Live Writer! So exciting! Thanks Sweetie!

What is sweeter than sweet???

2009-12-22T20:03:00.000-08:00

At bedtime I am usually the parent that is screaming about brushing teeth, cleaning bedrooms, dirty clothes on the floor, backpacks that are unpacked, oh- and don't forget my personal favorite- "PUT YOUR PAJAMAS ON!". All of this is usually done while Steve sits 7 feet away in the office catching up on work, watching videos on YouTube, or reading my blog.

But with all the stress of bedtime nothing beats Abby asking-

"When is daddy going to come and say good night to me?"

...Kind of like a knife in the back...

But it is kind of sweet to listen to her giggle when after he gives into tickling her and then to hear them talk to each other when he lays in bed with her... Tonight I was the audience to the two of them singing "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" a little off key but still adorable.

Dear Friends and Family 2009...

2009-12-20T18:07:00.000-08:00

The hits and highlights of 2009 for the Kuhtzs (some blog worthy, others didn't make it):

9. Performance anxiety- NOT! Abby participated in her first dance recital in June. Our little hip-hopper busted a move all over the stage. I couldn't believe her and she is already excited about her next recital in June 2010! The girl has moves (check her out)!

8. AR Tests have become part of our daily discussion. Jack has fallen in love with reading. He isn't the best but he is motivated by one thing! CHARMS! I am proud to say that he is the only student in his class that has collected a charm every month for achieving the grade level reading goal. I am so proud! 7. Karate Kicks! Jack and Abby both continue to attend karate class. Jack recently achieved the rank of Blue Belt, which means that he is able to participate in advanced weaponry classes. Very exciting. Abby love karate too because she is the "upper belt" in her Pre-K class which means that she calls class to attention and demonstrates all the moves with Sensei Adam.

6. "Loser Island" is what we called the big blow up raft that Steve and I purchased on a whim at Costco in May. We spent many Sundays with the kids in the pool, relaxing on the adults-only barge. One or two "adult-only" beverages may or may not have been consumed on Loser Island.

5. RV'n. I never thought that I was one for camping but Steve convinced me that leasing an RV from some friends would be the best way to figure out if we would enjoy the experience as a family. See #3 for more on RV'n.

4. Back to work, back to reality for me. I made the big decision to get my Insurance License in September and 52 hours and a 3 hour test later I was approved by the State of California to sell insurance. I never thought that I would work for Steve but here I am doing it and actually enjoying it. The big question is will you ever go back to teaching and the answer is "NO WAY *" (*= not unless I absolutely have to).

3. Land of the lost. Our RV travelling took us to all kinds of hot spots like Fernley in Nevada, Buttonwillow, Millerton Lake, and Ambroy in California. Never heard of them don't worry neither had I and you aren't missing much. The theme to the locales is RACING, we don't go there if it doesn't involve RACING.

BEFOREAFTER

2. LeMons 2008- 2009 went like this. Christmas Day 2008 leave for race, lose because of a -1,500 lap penalty. My birthday, dirt, wind, friends, and FUN! I am hooked. August an amazing second place finish after our last driver flipped the car in the final lap (let me know if you would like me to send you the video). If you have the chance to join us at a race- PLEASE DO! As for racing in 2010, we have scheduled 2 LeMons races and Steve's Shelby Mustang will be one of the car participating the SpeedTV's newest Internet and television program, Forum Wars.

1. The BIG 4-OH! On December 15th, Steve turned 40, with little fanfare. Mostly because I was sick but also because we celebrated his half birthday in June complete with a pirate-themed pool party with many of our friends in attendance.

Tardy to the Party...

2009-12-16T13:42:00.000-08:00

I sincerely planned a big 40th birthday blog for Steve yesterday but the sniffles got me down. So here it goes, a day late hopefully not a dollar short.

THE BIG 4-0!

Steve isn't much of a birthday guy. This year we celebrated 39 1/2 in June. Warm weather, lots of friends, good food, swimming, and a card shower (as Brian Varney so eloquently put it "You must be old, the only card shower I have heard of was for an 80 year old woman")! It was nice, without the hassle of holiday stuff to get in the way.

But you can't go without celebrating your birthday on your birthday! This year at 40, Steve:

Scratched off his first lottery scratcher. I know, he has been hidden under a rock for the last 30 years.
Got kicked out of a night club. I never thought I would see the day.
Sold 35 Medicare Advantage and Supplement plans.
Woke up at 4 am to drive to Bakersfield only to be "Patti Waldo'ed".
Slept on the couch, because I snored all night long. SORRY!
Crashed the Planned Parenthood of Fresno's Christmas party. Seriously!

Had a two nap weekend!
Felt so old he didn't want a party.
He won $3 off of 5 scratchers.

Whatever old guy! Happy Birthday!

Guess who is on the naughty list...

2009-12-13T10:31:00.001-08:00

TARGET!

I know right? My favorite store of all times. Has been very, Very, VERY bad! And I have the facts to prove it.

Fact #1:

On November 10th I ordered two Lego Advent Calendars, one for Jack and the other for the Callahan boys. At $29 a piece that was a Christmas spirit splurge. As I placed my order the confirmation stated "Items will be delivered between December 2 and December 16th"- Yikes that is a long time and kind of defeats the purpose of an advent calendar which is supposed to count down the 24 days to Christmas, but the boys will loved them so I left my order in Target limbo.

In the mean time every time I have found myself in Target I would have to breeze down the Lego aisle hoping that the Lego gods would smile upon me and bless me with the prized advent calendar. No such luck. Then last Thursday morning I noticed that I had a order update from Target in my Inbox. Great! The Advent calendars are on the way!

NOPE!

Wrong!

Try Again!

The Lego conspiracy continues with a back order date of January 26 to January 28. I don't know about all of you but there is not a single Christmas decoration in my house past January 3rd if there is anything I can do about it. Not to mention the fact that no Christmas item should be bought from Target after December 24th for no less then 50% off. By January 26th, these calendars should be discounted by 90% in my eyes. GRRR! ORDER... CANCELLED.

Moral to the story. Buy local. Buy early (like in October when Jack first spotted them in the store and I told him it was too early to buy Christmas stuff). And no one gets hurt.

Fact #2:

Starts with the Fresno Bee is the most worthless newspaper on the planet. After "The Bee" reformatted this fall, the news didn't exist. Articles about things I care about and that aren't even happening in our community, doesn't encourage me to renew my subscription. The Sunday ads did for awhile keep me reading for awhile. In an attempt to cut costs, I let the subscription go because I can see the Target ad online (click for this week's ad). But little did I know that Target tricks up in to feeling bad about the availability of products available in my normal Target with the sweet, sweet deals available only at the SUPER TARGET. The elusive SUPER TARGET-aghh! How I wish you were mine, all mine! But I can't have you so please don't show me what you have to offer (in other words the things that can't be mine).

Moral to the story. Ignorance is bliss. Thanks a lot Target, I am not feeling so blissful.

I am beginning to feel the pain that Charlie Brown felt. What is the true meaning of Christmas?

Merry Grinch-mas...

2009-12-12T08:25:00.001-08:00

Last year Christmas exploded at our house. This year not so much! While I am lucky that I finished addressing our Christmas cards, I failed to remember the school, dance, and cousins pictures that have been patiently waiting to be appreciated by all that were supposed to go in them. OOPS! The Christmas decorating that I started before Thanksgiving came to a screeching halt around December 3rd. The only reason I decorated on December 3rd is because I didn't have a place to put the Christmas cards that I started to arrive and I took the card tree out of the attic and set it up.

No jolly Santas on the mantel.

No Nativity with lights and garland.

No blow ups in our yard (much to my children's protest).

There is just not enough time to "blow up" Christmas this year. Boo! Hoo!

Luckily the shopping is done!

The tree is up!

And gifts are in the process of being wrapped!

But the biggest guilt I have this Christmas season is that

I didn't have the time to write my annual Christmas letter.

Silly right?

It is one of my favorite Christmas traditions and this year I just don't have enough time to do it. Sorry!

Check back next week and maybe I will blog my Christmas letter.

There is still hope!

Life in Balance...

2009-12-06T19:29:00.000-08:00

The problem-

A totally rad yellow and blue Schwinn without training wheels.

Won by Jack in 2007 at the Firefighters Soapbox Derby.

The solution-

Great weather + a dad that was not going to quit + The Balance Buddy + some tears=

The Results-

AMAZING! Jack is biking machine!

He wants to go everywhere on his bike and he does it with the biggest smile on his face.

If his mother would think about it she would have a picture here of Jack on his bike. Bad Mom!

AEP...

2009-12-05T17:15:00.000-08:00

Steve is working his butt off during the Medicare "Annual Election Period" , I am trying to help him out by working at a moderate pace. Unfortunately, the grueling hours sitting in Wal Mart, driving to appointments, and calling people is not showing their effect on the actual part of the anatomy that is supposedly being worked off. I am pretty much guaranteed to be a featured butt on a national news report about the "effects of stress and obesity in America" or "why your shouldn't have a Starbucks scone everyday". AGHHHH!

AEP's new name... "ANNUAL EXPANSION PERIOD"!

January 1 can't come fast enough.

600...

2009-12-05T17:11:00.000-08:00

It was 600 hours to Thanksgiving.

It can be 600 weeks to my birthday.

It will be 600 minutes until we leave for Grandma's.

It should be about 600 seconds until we make cookies.

And how about 600 days until Santa comes.

What is your exaggerated number? Can you guess what Abby's is?

"Mommy, you were..."

2009-11-12T18:13:00.000-08:00

RIGHT!

I am going to treasure every time she says it to me because I know some day she will think everything I say is WRONG! What was I right about? 1. The skirt that Grandma Kuhtz gave her is too big. 2. She needed to wear tights or knee socks with her new denim skirt, because her legs would be cold. 3. The jacket and undershirt I told her she would need today because the classroom would be cold, but she didn't want. She needed it.

Do you see a theme? Just a glimpse of what my future will be like. Lucky me!

Number 100...

2009-11-07T07:43:00.000-08:00

It's a milestone right, a time to reflect on where I have been and look forward to the future. So here it goes. My kids are the most talked about blog topics. They are cute, funny, sometimes annoying, but they are mine and I can't help but talk about them ALL the time (the good, the bad, the ugly). In the beginning Steve hated me blogging about him. He has come around to the notion that I am making fun of myself just as much as I am making fun of him, and I can make him the hero of the story. Besides my family I love to blog about my favorite things, I think I have covered it all- websites, holidays, Christmas decorations, vacations, recipes, books, the weather, my hair guy, the list goes on and on. Maybe it is because I love the Sound of Music (there is another favorite thing), so I love to blog and sing the "Favorite Things" song in my head. Cuckoo! When I started blogging, I believed that my sister and myself were the only people who read my blog. Now I know I am NOT the only person that reads it. I love the counter and the Live Webfeed. But my favorite part is the comments. Comments make me happy, they boost my ego (as if it needed boosting). And even though I am pretty sure that "Anonymous" is my father-in-law, I still like him encouraging me with comments like "you are funny". I can't leave out my 5 loyal followers, without you I would be nothing.

Here is to 100! And here is to 100 more! Thank you!

Does this sound like an award acceptance speech or is it just me?